So, things happen...

Well I was really good for a moment there keeping up with my blog in Berlin. I have bursts where I can sort of write things that are entertaining. I was just looking at my blog stats and I had a ton of hits... I was feeling pretty good until I realized that they were from a Benicio Del Toro fan page.. HA! Man, people really know how to find things online.... Sorry BDT! Anyway... it's not like I went into the details....

So the rest of Berlin, whelp, kind of blew that. I Broke out a kitchen window by accident. Miraculously I didn't even really hurt myself.. just a few nicks on my arm... My trip home was a nightmare.. my first humbling Euro experience... Long story short I stayed up all night because my flight was super early, and, hey, I had been preetty much staying up all night anyway earlier that week.. so no biggie right? WELL, first off, my train breaks down mid way.. the train that everyone said was SOOO EASY and a STRAIGHT SHOT.. so here I am, exhausted, sobering up.. feeling cracked out and immunity deprived and STUCK in some weird suburb outside of Berlin. Well no one speaks English.. All I know how to say in German is "airplane" "please" and "thank you"... well I finally admit defeat with the train system as I can not find a single train going to the airport I need to.. so I decide to find my way to the street (keep in mind its like 5am at this point) and hail a cab... well I have my bags and everything with me... and I kind of realize that I am wandering around in some alley ways in Germany, at 5am, alone, with NO idea where I am or if there is even a street I can catch a cab on.. All I keep thinking about is that god damn movie Taken that my mom made me watch... then I spot her... a girl who looks just as lost as I do. So I run up to her, she looks about my age.. she's Spanish. Between my shitty Spanish and her shitty English we figure out that we are in the exact same situation and need to get to the same airport. Well we team up and finally find a cab with people in it.. basically run in front of it to ask where a good street is to find a cab, and find one. So I'm nodding off in the cab and we finally arrive.. at this time I am kind of pushing it time wise (thank god I left early right?.. right...) so I race to the line.. go through customs.. only to see that my flights been DELAYED until 12:30PM! UUUGGGGHHHH they turn me away! After all that bullshit, staying up all night.. racing around stressed out of my GOURD.. I end up having to sleep on the cold ass concrete for HOURS waiting until they will let me in.. you can't even go into the warm comfy part of the airport until 2 hours prior your flight. BULLSHIT. Yeah it was awful .. then on the plane the bitch flight attendant wouldn't even loan me her pen... apparently "she needed it" ... cunt. but I made it... so all is well.

So, that was the rest of Berlin.

Next I'll talk about Electric Wizard and meeting special people....person.... museums... halloween.. all that jazz...no time now though.... xo

Trying To Catch A Case of the Sleepies

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I Accidentally Drank Chicken Broth

Written on 19.10.10

First day in Berlin. It's 15:30pm and I just scraped myself out of bed. Matt and Will (Matts British roomate ... who's helping out with recording I guess.. used to play with Spaceman 3 and Spiritulized.. who knew?) gave me a proper Berlin welcome. We all went out to the bar and got pissed. The first place we went to is called 8mm. A small place, but really really cool. According to Will the bartender Mattias has the biggest and bestest collection of heavy metal T-shirts he's ever seen ha. A very very lovly Russian/German lady met up with us named Tereasa. Apparently she lived in Portland in 01 and 02 and used to work at Union Jacks.. yeah you know the place.. and if you don't the you don't need to. She's tall, blonde and has cheeck bones that'll cut ya. Beautiful. Everyones beautiful here... as I've said before. Anyway, we danced. At one point we got on stage and I let her lead me and we totally made up this one on the spot... jig like.. adorable routine, thing... hard to explain, guess you had to be there... everyone in the bar loved it though... I only wish I was in something cuter than my black jeans and army green sweater... next to her white fur coat I kind of faded a little bit haha

Will is convinced I'm Mexican. God damn it. I hate when people think I'm Mexican... no offense Seniors and Senioritas. When we finally did spill out of the bar Will was screaming YOU'RE MEXICAN! YOU HAD A MeXICAN MILK MAN! haha.. thanks Will. Oh yes and all the while he kept trying to hit me with this dried stack of posters....why? I think I kicked him... all in good fun though.. but he's British.. not like Huge Grant British.. like Snatch British.. a midlander... so revenge was needed I guess. Anyway, thank god for Matt taking care of us... and letting me use him as a shield from Will. He bought us all McDonalds, which we all attacked like a pack of wolves back at the place and went to bed. Yeah I know, McDonalds. eeeeew, but hey, I'm pretty proud of myself... it's the first time I've actually eaten fast food since I've been here. Passed out on the couch.. Matt must have put a blanket on me.. sometime in the middle of the night I stepped over Will, who was sleeping face first, opened mouth, on the floor.. which doesn't make any sense because he has a perfectly good bed.. but yeah, stepped over Will and made it to the fridge.. I was sooo thirsty.. like fire marshal bill lips thirsty.. I just wanted something cold.. all of the bottles were in German, so I just picked the open one.. huge mistake. Chicken broth. UUUGGGHHHH it makes the enzymes in my mouth get all pukey just thinking about it. Luckily I was in too much of a haze to really get that upset about it and just went to the sink. Will woke up a couple of hours later and opened one of the other bottles and hooked it up. A delicious sparkling apple cider.. thats the one, thats the one I needed. He was hyper for like an hour and sat chatting me up.. I kind of just wanted to tune him out and roll over.. but he's really funny so I tolerated it. Hi Will. He ate a bag of crisps I brought from London.. salt and vinegar, apparently not available in Germany. When he got up we noticed a bunch of smashed french frieds underneath him.. I love cuddling my McDonalds. Finally he went into his room and back to sleep. I got up, bothered Matt, got his keys and my lappy.. then went back to bed.

I am finally awake and out... I'm actually at an amazing little coffee shop down the way from the place.... they are playing Bob Dylan... perfect for my morning. They also have free WiFi, which my POS lappy can't connect to.. it has problems in German I've noticed.... you probably won't get this post until I get back to London (UPDATE: not true.) I oke up with a screaming headache and cramps.. yes cramps. Excellent. I walked to the chemist down the street.. no English... Oh the polite thing to do here is always ask if someone speaks English before just assuming and going into it. FYI. .. so I have... it's about 50/50 here. Well no English. All I wanted was some advil... I should have headed Matts warning and brought my own... in order to have her help me figure out what I wanted I grabbed a box of tampons, showed her while holding my stomach and making an "I'm hurt" face.... it worked... oh the power of body language. It worked, but she didn't have any.. but it's ok, did the same thing accross the street with success. Just waiting for that bad boy to kick in now...

This is a long one, but I think I enjoy writing most when I'm severly hung over.. it's like waking up with the giggles. Matt has to go to the sudio today and record all night with Antone and Will, so I am pretty much on my own (UPDATE: they didn't have to.. we went out and got stupid again) They live near a really busy alive street, so I should be fine...8mm is walkable. I love Berlin and I havn't even really seen it yet. I wish I had more than 6 days here. I am goig to go to the Pergamon Museum with Matt on one of his days off.. that's going to be sooooo f ing awesome. It's full of Ancient Egyption artifacts. Rad.

The End.

Too Early

Written on 18.10.10

Well I have been traveling for about a month now. Man, a month is a long time to travel and I got just over another month to left.... I have been having the time of my life and everything is going the way I want it o. I went to that pizza party, I made friends.. I have a good little network in London right now of kids to play with during the days and nights. Yesterday I visited the White Chapel Galleryin White Chapel (go figure) it was beautiful... google it. There is a pretty amazing exhibit there right now that focuses on all the terror befallen on Beruit. We also visited Brick Lane which is a really hip street that has a market every Sunday... the vintage clothing selection is AMAZING... but also amazingly exspensive... ugh, what a tease. I am trying not to blow all of my travel funds on clothes... although I did buy a belt and a hat... Guilty. I am in the airport in Gatzwick right now waiting to check in for my flight. I got here SUPER early. I had no idea what to expect of this airport and I am super paranoid so.. go figure.. I didn't think there was a such thing of getting to the airport too early, but I guess there is.. I can't check in till 15:20.. it ia now 14:40.. uuugggghhhh. (UPDATE: ended up waiting when I didn't even have to.. you only have to check in if you are checking a bag.. oops)  Oh well. but yes, anywho, I am flying to Berlin. I have no phone right now because I already lost my charger like a genius... thatll teach me to lay my shit around everywhere. Man, Europe is full of beautiful people.. they are EVERYWHERE.. kind of makes you step up your game a little bit. Yesterday I played in a play ground with my new friends. ... again on the amazingly lush green grass.. there was a zip line which entertained us for about a 1/2 hour. People drink A LOT of beer in London. .. a lot. Booze is too exspensive. It's like 6 quid (roughly 11 bucks) for a cheap vodka soda.. if not more! Ridic. I've been living off Tesco salmon cakes and cocoa snaps cereal... also, roughly half my caloric intake for the day is beer based. It keeps ya full. Don't worry.. I actually feel quite healthy.. the snacks here are of a much higher quality than the snacks from back home... the ingredients list even for my shitty snaps cereal is like a quarter of what it would be in the US.. ugh, I hate how Americans are slowly posioning themselves with the shit we eat and all the hidden crap in food. HATE! I am going to miss the chocolate here sooo much.. I'll pack a bag of Cadbury sweets for everyone back home.. mmmmm and mini cheddars.. mmmm.. guh, I think I'm hormonal. (UPDATE: totally was hormonal.)

I gave someone directions the other day! ON THE STREET. IIIIIIII knew where I was and where they needed to go in London. I felt pretty damn good about that. I sure do need to either bag me a husband or figure out how to go to UNI here. I love this damn city. I hear great things about Berlin .. pretty excited. I hope I can find my way to Matts place. You can take the trains which would be a lot cheaper but I might just spend the extra 20 Euros (UPDATE: ended up costing 45 EUROS! GUH!) and call a cab... just to spare myself the stress and anxiety. Apparently the place has a glowing 5 outside of it.. that sounds awesome (ANOTHER UPDATE: all the street numbers glow but JUST the 5 I was looking for was burnt out.. thanks Matt.) 15 minutes till I can check in. I'm rambling.. this entry was boring sorry. Miss you guys xoxo

City Foxes and Americanos

Well in the last 2 days I've booked a train ticket to Paris and a plane ticket to Berlin. Berlin comes first. I am going to be spending a lovely week with the handsome Matthew Hollywood. It's going to be perfect because I plan on dragging him around to see all the touristy stuff with me.. and he's willing because he has yet to do that sort of thing yet. I guess the fancy Brian Jonestown doesn't have much time for sight seeing. All the same SUPER EXCITED. I am a little nervous about getting from place to plane to place as Germany is a new venture for me.. everyone says its super easy... we'll see...

Ahhh... yes. In other news I MADE FRIENDS.. I have to admit.. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself during the last post... but all is well. I have been invited to a Pizza Party at a local pub and you bet your ass I am going. Just going to show up and be the token American again. Love it.

I saw my first city fox the other night! I was on my way to my friend Daves house and there it was... crossing the street.. like it was no big deal.. a fox. I did what came naturally and made a "pss pss" sound.. the sound I use to get street kittys to come to me and attention from most anything or anyone.. didn't work of course, but it DID stop and take a look at me... we made eye contact. A big deal for me.

Enjoying my americano once again... mmm... and a flake.. my new favorite British treat. Louise is making damn sure that I've tried every yummy derish snack here that is available. My snack database is expanding rapidly and I am not complaining.

xoxoxo love love love till next time...

Grass.

I just spent my first full day walking out and about in London.... yesterday didn't really count since I didn't really leave the area. Today, however, I made it has far as essex st.. which means nothing to you, but it's a little farther. I am quite proud of myself because I managed to venture out with little more than a "left is probably more interesting" and "just head towards (landmark i don't know) then pass (another something I don't know) then theres a fork, go right" from Louise as she jets out to meet up with her friends... the most impressive part was that I managed to find my way home without a map. traveling has done wonders for my sense of direction. The weather has been great today.. I've really lucked out... apparently Oct is supposed to be shit for weather.. maybe I brought a little bit of California sunshine with me hyuck hyuck. It kind of settled in today that I am very much on my own out here. As much as Louise has been great, shes got her own thing going on and we are very much part of different cultures. It's up to me to make my own friends and find my own fun. Essex st was actually really awesome... slightly hip. I found 2 record shops where I ask around for good places to listen to music and where to go... the first one actually had records and was owned by this interesting looking little bald man in a barrette. He herd me talk and said "ah an import, lets see... LA, Austin, Brooklyn, New Orleans?" I proceeded to tell him LA.. which I have been claiming this whole time.. cause technically that is going to be my new home when I get back. He then surprised me by trying to guess my ethnicity... I got Italian, East Indian, Jewish, Spanish, Israeli .. basically everything but white... I get that a lot. People just don't think I am white out here... must be all the blue eyed pasties out here. oh and also he said "so are you just a beautiful girl or are you a very beautiful man?" haha I said "what, do I look like a man? I sure hope not!" and he replied "no you are a beautiful woman... but you just never know in LA"... I guess LA has a rep here for having a lot of hot trannys... but anyway, I picked up a lot of fliers and wrote down some interesting things to do during the rest of the week. I am hell bent on making some friends. I have made one though (minus Louise's friends... which are wonderful) his name is Dave P. He's 29, dashing, and works in London. Someone reasonably normal that's willing to show me around the city. The city.. where ever the city may be, can be a little over whelming when you don't know a soul or a street. I almost got emotional this morning, but I silently sucked it up and just went outside. I got another americano from the great place up the street and headed out on my way.

The grass here is amazing. Normally grass makes me itchy. I much prefer sand. I laid in the park for about an hour.. no blanket.. just skin, grass and sunshine. Only one interruption where a slobbery faced dog decided to wake me up with a kiss... my prince.

The other park I found today was a little further out.. not the usual one right across the street... it was in Angel.. a pretty happening area of town. I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of time out there. There was a band of buskers dressed in velvet and top hats and I ate at a bar called the Queens Head. The sandwich was ok, the HUGE beer was better.

Think I am going to drink a tea, sit outside and relax now. Miss you guys, I'll try not to get a case of the lonelys.

Trying to solidify plans for Berlin... waiting on a response from Matt. 

Ahhh.. Finally...

So, obviously I have not been writing in you. I have to be in the right head space to write. So much has happened. A lot of you have been keeping up with my facebook, so you have a general idea. Long story short, my birthday was a blast, hung out with benicio del toro, went to liverpool geeked out on beatles stuff and danced all night, went to stonehenge and cried, and have been loving london. I know I know not the fun version... but its a version none the less... I'll go more into detail when I am in the right head space.

I just had an amazing walk outside by myself. I went to a great organic coffee shop just up the street, ate a salmon and spinich brioche tart and had possibly the best americano i've ever had. It is quite grey out, but it's nice.. nothing a nice jacket can't cure. It's Saturday so children were out riding bikes and there was a good amount of people at the shop. There is a park right accross the street from Louises apt... it's so nice. I sat on a bench for a while and just took everything in. It's been a long time since I've felt so content. I was so happy to just drink my coffee and watch other peoples dogs play while listening to my ipod. I have never seen such an epic doggy play session. No one walks their dogs on leashes.. they kind of just let them roam then gather on grass fields to let them have a no holds free for all of play. These dogs have it made. I am here. I had a very "I am here" moment last night. I went out to see this "gig" with Louise and some of her friends, who are now my friends. London is super into techno and dance music... sounds a bit lame but it's really not. I kind of get it. People just want to dance. There was a moment last night when I was dancing on a table (lots of people were) and a song I actually sort of liked came on.. i just sort of let myself go and looked around... and i thought "wow, this is really really different" ... Everyone was dressed "on trend" and so enjoying themselves dancing. It's damn near impossible to find a decent place to dance in the US.. or so I've noticed. They seem like a dime a dozen here. And you know whats great, the boys love to dance here! They don't just do it for an excuse to rub up on pretty ladies or to appease their girl friends, they do it because they love to dance. They are enjoying themselves just as much as the ladies are. .. It's great. I love a man that can dance.

I am listening to Grandaddy right now. Have you ever had those moments with bands where you all of a sudden rediscover them? I've had one of those recently. Can't get enough. It's quiet around the apt right now. Louise is having Louise time and straightening her room.. I'm just trying to stay out of the way. She really has been spectacular. I am so lucky to have such good friends. .. but anyway, I won't bore you with the obvious.. till next time xoxoxo

Well, look who that is... yeah I was obnoxious and took a picture.. someone had to.. I told him I wouldnt post it on facebook.. but he didn't make me promise anything about a blog...

My nephew Romeo and his Pirate Blouse.

I H ate Planes

9/24/10

So I'm sitting on the plane... and of course my stupid netbook can't figure out how to connect to the wireless on board. I havn't showered in 3 days, am on my period and I am also unforgivably hungover....sweet. With that out of the way though, I must say I have been having an incredible time. The Microtia dudes have been very very fun, I love them. I got to see a good friend of mine last night named Travis Shotwell... those of you who know him, well, know him. He's well. Skinny and cute as usual. I just heard the captain say that we will be experiencing some turbulence. .. also sweet. I hate planes. I hate flying. and I especially hate turbulence. .. hopefully I don't start clawing at the unsuspecting victim sitting next to me... I feel terrible for him... I can only imagine what it must be like sitting next to me right now. My glasses are scratched and all my nails are broken.. and it's only week one of my trip. I am so very ...oop.. turbulence.. uggggghhhh.. anywho.. I am so very excited to see Miss Alex Moyer and my sister Noel Strong... apparently she just gave Rachel Zoe an ultra sound... no big deal. I love bragging about her... She'll deliver my babies some day. Alex is throwing me a birthday party tomorrow on some rooftop in Brooklyn. That should be interesting... god.... what I would give to brush my teeth right now.... did I mention that I really need a shower? More turbulence. Great. The guy sitting next to me is sleeping with his head down on the food try... how is this possible? I don't think a business man could possibly look more uncomfortable. List of People I miss: Mom, Dad, basically family in general, Paul, Oliver, Megan, Ian. Oh, that reminds me... my retard of a friend, Ian, some how just could not find his way to the club last night. He just gave up! I'd be pissed if I didn't already get to see him while I was in SF for work just a week ago. What a dummy... I hope you enjoyed your tacos you chose to get instead of finding the totally easy to locate club I was at butthead. Wow, this plane is really shaking... I think I have to keep typing in order to not just totally freak out right now... Looks like it's muscle relaxer time! xox miss all of you guys, don't worry, planes only crash in movies.....

Checking in again.. I think we are flying above lake michigan right now... each of our seat have these little screens you can watch tv on and a map. .. I love the map, except I keep checking it to see how much farther we have to go. A god damn pot never god damn boils. Turbulence on and off... I'm coping well. To those of you that I went to New Zealand with (jud, cody, thor, rachel....) I am much better on planes than I used to be.. no screaming and crying this trip, I promise. The guy sitting next to me is drawing now... I hope he doesn't see me peeking. .. He's drawing something really disturbing, this like woman creature beast crawling on all fours... hopefully this doesn't turn out like that Canadian incident on the greyhound bus.... He has a nintendo DS too, I should be fine. I love the unspoken and spoken connection between two people who have nintendo DS's. Love. It's Love you know.... I wish I could get online damn it, what the hell netbook!?!?! Oh well, I'll figure this out before London. Not looking forward to the cab ride to Alex's with my 4873987654328975729879 bags.

One of my stupid pictures made it on NBC

LOTR Risk

I am watching the boys play Lord Of The Rings Risk... I am a little jealous I said I didn't want to play.. I had played once at Badass Magic's house.. we played teams and mine lost pretty bad.. I guess I'm just bitter ha. Tomorrow we head to Monterrey.

Internet At Last

We are at Olivers parents house right now... his nephew Troy is running around in a spiderman suit with built in muscles... Ayla has one of those... due to know internet connection I've written my last two blogs in a text files... here they are:

Day 3.... Last night the band played a house show... which basically turned out to be a private showing for me and, like, 4 other people. Sounds lame but it was actually a good time. Everyone was in a pretty good mood and very loose... I herd some cow bell thrown in the mix. Again, I was coned into being the token tambourine girl... It's fun, although I am very well aware that it is the least necessary person in any band haha (no offense to fellow tambo romancers) ... I fell asleep on the floor of the practice space until i realized there was a perfectly good couch in the other room... I woke up covered in animals... two cats and a dog to be precise... I don't mind really.. minus the fact I am completely covered in loose fur and there is a light aroma of kah kah on the air...

til next time...

xoxo

Oh one more thing! I was just reminded by Tim that I learned my first drum beat last night... How could I forget?? I want a drum set sooo bad... Tim is going to let me practice on them for the rest of the tour... whether he likes it or not... but he will ... because I'm sure I look simply adorable on drums ;)

9/20/10

I am sitting in the back of the van right now... we just gorged ourselves on in & out... everyone thats not from southern california always freaks out about it because they don't exist up north. All I have to say is that the animal fries are over priced. Anywho... the LA show was a bit weird.. it was at this venue/speakeasy/ not really anything warehouse... they charged an 8 dollar cover, wouldn't let you bring in your own drinks AND didn't even give some of the cover money to the band... LA can be retarded like that.. anyway, silver factory studios, yeah they suck. With the said and done, AFTER the show in LA was a totally different story... we were invited iver to this amazing pretty ladies loft in the garment district for drinks and snacks... I made the mistake of drinking a four loko in the van outside the venue before hand... that stuff is hellacious, it turned me into an animal... anyway though we all had a really really good time, drank fancy booze, and woke up to anya brewing us the most delicious coffee... very hospitable, refreshing. I can't wait to entertain like that in my future place... where ever that may be. Oh, and Dan was filmed violently puking... he won't let me post the video... but heres a picture:

Oh Dan......

Ha! whoops (don't worry mom and dad... these guys aren't scumbags... we just had a little too much fun)

It Starts

So I finally stepped out my front door and into a smelly van. It was a huge sigh of relief knowing there is nothing I can do about anything I may have forgotten.... much better then the continuous pacing and checking of bags I had been doing the hour prior. I felt like a dog wait for it's master, tail wagging furiously. Whelp.. nothing exciting has happened since leaving.. I am currently in Huntington beach waiting for all the musician to finish showering... too bad they can't shower the van...


felling good.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Hello Everybody,

So I haven't left yet

I will be leaving on Tour with Microtia starting Sept 16... we will be hitting up different cities up CA until we reach our final destination of San Fransisco. I actually just got back from SF the other day.. I went there for work with Prosites. I really love that company.. I hope to work in the LA office when I get back... they truly are great there...

Any who.. after SF I will be flying in JFK international airport, arriving at 11:59pm on the 24th... I'll probably pass out face down into my sisters bed... unless Alex Moyer nabs me first.

My trip is finally starting to sink in... I had to explain to my niece last night that I might not be able to go to her birthday party because I am taking a very long trip.... this kind of threw a bunch of emotions I wasn't expecting at me... I know I'm only leaving for a few months, but still... it's the end of an era... A very intense experience for me. I don't know exactly where I'll be living or who I will be when I get back...I mean.. I know I am going to still be me... just a better version... I have been working towards this for a year now.. finally the fruits of all my efforts are paying off. I did it. It feels great. There is just a lot going on. Love you guys.

I am going to be using this blog to keep everyone updated on my travels due to the overwhelming amount of requests.... so check in now and again!

xoxoxoxoxo

My Own Personal Jesus Lizard

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Full Body Job

do do do do do do do do deeeee bah do do do

omg layers. Aren't they great!?!

So these two fools are named Travis Shotwell.. and Jess... Jess. both hot dudes. To make these all it took were two layers. and i just deleted around what i want the background to show.. AMAZING!!! One annoying this i did learn was that when you rotate an image (at least with paint.net) it makes it kind of blurry... as you can see with Preditor. Oh well... maybe ill invest in a real PS program one of these days.

here's some more:

Guilt

Well... man. I thought a blog would be something to ease the stress and brighten my day... granted.. it can be.. but since I have kind of ignored it lately it's sort of turned into a nag .. i feel guilty about not writing in it. This thing exists for me.. ME! How dare it make ME feel guilty? Oh well all the same... here are some more pictures:

Ah yes... isn't she beautiful? And by "she" I mean, isn't "me" beautiful? and look who it is: Tunadand and Venice Beach Guy. A worthy sacrifice in the Hollywood hills.

I really like that picture of me in a bikini taken by Rhys Balmer. The original was in front of a shitty truck and showed my legs. I never had the balls to post the original... but for some reason this was justified. PS- Judtar got so much attention I got jealous and made myself one.

Zentish

Thats actually Chris Kentish. We used to be in a shitty band together in high school called "The Lovecats." I of course was the no talent pretty keyboard player.

Why the hell doesn't this thing have page breaks? Thats annoying. Anyway... these were the last of the MS Paint days. I finally talked my boss into letting me download Paint.net.... which completely opened up my world. Layers, Oh My God. I had no idea what I was missing. Heres my first.. it was so easy to make!

Cosmic Hippos

The Last Days Of Only MS Paint

As I began to gain more and more attention for my works I kept on getting all these suggestions on free software I could use that is just a tid bit easier to work... but, alas, I was subborn and still went on to make these in paint:

The following three are pets combine with their owners:

Jessica with Chickis. Scary, I know.

Christina with Biddy

John Paul with Go Go

Here are a few more:

Hunky Emus

About Me

Mantis On Drums

I Want That

Assholiation Forgetations

By this time I had already began to receive requests from people to be "animaled" .. a term I didn't come up with... but I guess it works. The funniest thing about the picture above is.. the girl who requested it (yes, you Bianca) didn't remember who I was. She wrote me a very sweet email saying how she loved my pictures and would really like me to make one of her.... Little did she know I knew who she was... lets see... way back... maybe 3 or 4 summers ago in Portland.. during my post fake divorce drinking binge .. I had a rather colorful night. Lets just say I was being loud and drunk (and probably obnoxious) .. well I caught Bianca making fun of my behavior, and being wasted and sensitive as I was, this really hurt my feelings.. I hated her for about a year after that. Alas, I am not one to hold a grudge .. especially over something so dumb and decided to make her a picture. Shes actually got a really great face (even though I didn't use it.. but later in my career I do) and from what I hear is quite a blast to be around. So, Bianca, if you are reading this... it ain't no thang girl, but... some of us are sensitive.. and yes, I do plan on coming to LA and I do plan on getting sloppy drunk again... but this time with you.. and we can openly make fun of each other. All that said.. this picture was a fucking bitch ass to make... I was still using paint at this point, no layers. I had to crop the hand, cut it out paste it on the bird face.. cut that out then hope that it all aligned on the main pic.. and if I fucked it up (which I did) I would have to start over. Yeah.

Works Continuum

*yawn* Another morning at thee ol' office with not a thing to do. So lets take a look at some more of my art:

Discovery! you can resize pictures and flip them sideways in Paint! Man! I've been such a fool!

Thats Dand, or in the world I have created, Tunadand. A lot of you may now him or recognize him from something called the internet... (and Portland and Atlanta.. and Chicago now too I guess, but mostly the internet) He's the only person I know that spend more time than me online (I am not judging) .. we are both victims of circumstance. Long story short: Save the Tunadands!

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This is Craig. Those of you who love food would probably love him. He basically lives, breaths and, most of all, eats food. As far as the picture goes... no new discoveries.. just luck when finding a picture with matching lighting... Back to Craig though. He goes by the alias "Wolvesmouth" and will be releasing a television cooking show called "The Wolves Den" ... Check out his website... it's well worth your time: Wolves Mouth ... I have never eaten so well with any one before... it was fantastic. Also.. hes using this picture (huzzah!) Currently he works for someone ultra famous as their personal chef.. I am not going to mention any names...

Is that a scarab?

*** works calling... I will continue this post in a bit!

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Part Two:

In case any of your were wondering.. I work at a company called Prosites. We do websites for dental and doctor offices... I actually kind of like it here, mostly because of the people. Too bad its in Shitsburg Temecula. A bird in a cage I tell ya.. a bird in a cage...

Anywho, here are a few more:

Check out the amazing work I did with creating a fence to cover up Johns domepiece. Talent. Zachs spirit animal is a dolphin.. which in my opinion, is perfect for him.

Aaron Biancucci. I'll just leave it at that.

Ah yes, Jhordan Dahl. Now shes a popular one... you can always expect for a picture to get a lot of attention when you make one using someone that very popular. We have been friends for quite some time now... although there was a brief period of time where things were said, feelings were hurt.. and we may have hated each other for a little bit. But it was all BS, and we got over it. .. all the same I made sure to choose an animal that wouldn't piss her off and was appropriate: a gazelle. I did her bangs some justice with good ol' copy and paste.. I trick I use on myself sometimes to doctor up pictures where my bangs choose to betray me... hair just has a lot of texture.. and using a crayon just doesn't quite cut it.

From the Vaults #1

I am going to now and then pull something from my old myspace.. facebook.. whatever blogs post ect that I found interesting in the past and transfer it here... there will be more of these...

So, this is probably one of the most interesting/raddest things I've seen online... this is what we sound like to Italians.. and its pretty spot on. I love this guy's Van Morrison... and how good looking is that girl? ... damn Italians.

Article two: The quest continues...

Whelp, ya know, have you ever had one of those periods of time in your life where you think you have a plan and it all figured out.. just to have some turn of events take a dump ( ~@~ ) on it? I am beginning to worry that I am continuously trying to polish turds here... no matter how much I keep rubbing, no matter how shiny it gets... it's still just a turd. So.. lets take another look at a couple of turds shall we?



Chapter Two, my genius begins to shine:

As you can see I start to get a little better. I learned that you can cut and paste pieces of images to cover up any unwanted human and even used various paint brush tools to smudge things in... I prefer the crayon.

The first picture is of me during one of my greater moments... that was fourth of July.. I had been drinking for two days and someone had enough sense to give me a beer and some fireworks. Well done. I love the 4th of July in Portland. .. It only seemed appropriate to place myself inside a sharks mouth... thats kind of how I felt once i sobered up. Second is a picture of a short lived but great band made up a series of friends called "The Rebel Drones." My friend Dand suggested I use this picture to make a critter band because everyone looked bad in the original. .. You can see it below:

... so, with this, I started getting a lot of attention for my shitty little pictures on facebook...

Third, which turn into an instant classic is the majestic "Judtaur" .. which, of course, is my friend Jud. Man, finding a topless picture of a hunky guy like Jud just screams "make me into a centaur" .. so I did. This was quite the challenge.. because it was the first time I had to cover something in the background up. Hence, discovering the usefulness of cutting and pasting textures. Ta Da! My love for making taurs starts here…

Whelp, I guess it starts here

My name is Brittany Strong. Yes, that is a picture of me at the top of the screen. Some friends call me Choo Choo which I tend to adopt online. I mean, really, who likes to go by their real name online? Especially when it's Brittany. I am currently 24 years of age and under going what I would like to reffer to as a "quarter life crisis." I've recently discovered through the magic of MS Paint that one of my true callings in life is to make things that serve no greater purpose than creating maybe 5 seconds of entertainment (and a smile... but I wont get my hopes up). I am not a great writer, I have not gone to school, I work in an office with no windows but I can be damn likable. For all of the friends around the world that know me.. go easy on me. .. what was I talking about? I guess I was just trying to justify why I've created a blog to talk about myself on. ... well... here it goes...

I am going to start with simply talking about some thing I have made... but I am sure there will be a lot more added once I figure out what I really want this blog to be all about.

From the top here is what I've made and the stories behind it..

BEHOLD! My first creation...

Ok.. so the only reason I'm posting this piece of shit is to share the picture that helped me realize my passion for placing human faces on animals and vice versa. I don't know why I enjoyed making this so much. That happy looking creature is my ex boyfriend.. he shared a love of sloths. I felt like getting some attention from him and slapped this together. It's horrible, I know, but I thought it was funny. Also, all those I Can Has Cheeseburger nerds... I know I didn't create the quote, I simply stole the picture.

Now that I discovered the awesome power of MS paint and its magical cutting and pasting abilities I created these masterpieces:

Now, keep in mind I was just getting familiar with the whole cutting out and pasting of images... this is so not as easy as it looks in Paint.. there are no layers... you can't really change the angles ... when you resizes it it starts to look funny... they only way to correct an ill positioning is by hitting undo.. it was a mess. The first is my Swede Mattias (of Life on Earth and Dungen) .. I love ferrets... and I really like him.. so it seemed like a good fit.. I also found that picture of him online while being a creep (I gave him that shirt FYI) and snooping around online. The second picture are three most excellent ladies, Megan Barnett, Alex Moyer, and Claire... sorry Claire, I don't know your last name, I guess you just got lucky... They were origionally going to go on a cat body but since I didnt know how to size or create better angles or anything I gave up and just made them stick figures out of frustration. The 3rd is me.. I got jealous of Mattias's ferret picture and decided I wanted one.

I guess this is enough for post ONE ... I honestly don't know where this is going to go.. I am hoping this blog develops into something that enables me to.. I don't know... work through my quarter life crisis? ha

PS- the pictures get much better.. remember, this is just a start.

PSS- is there no spell check on this damn thing? This is going to be imbarrassing.